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"You were abducted by space aliens. Of course you want egg rolls."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."
"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."
"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."
"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."
"I just don't- Ronan. My ears are bleeding!"Ronan turned down the music."
Explore more quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
"I'm a holiday Christian at best and I'd never given much thought to demons. They were an adult version of the boogieman hiding in every kid's closet."
"I was pure, before you defiled me, and don't you forget it. As though the concept of purity is anything more than the construct of selfish, competitive men stampeding toward the women to call dibs. I'll be damned if I'm not worth stampeding toward, but the prize had better be me, hymen or no hymen."
"Every weekend, I fall in love again. By Sunday, the last thing I want to do is let her go, release her back into the cold water of life."
"Snow is both our best friend and worst enemy. Best friend because it shows us in a concrete form the paths other have taken to get where they are. Worst enemy because it will tell such tales of us if we chance upon it. I find poetry in snow that cannot be resisted. In a way, it is the closest to time travel most civilians will ever manage."
"They may have been rightly overbearing in her formative years, but they also loved Roselyn enough to trust she needed dreams more than realities."
"They had perfected their team nagging to a level where they no longer had to confer and felt they would be wasting their talents if they only admonished their own children."
"He seemed like the sort to have a vast arsenal of smirks, shaped over a decade of nonverbal conversation."
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