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Fred Allen

"The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed."

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"The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed."

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Amber Hurdle

"Women may fall when there's no strength in men."

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Amber Hurdle

"Men are April when they woo, December when they wed. Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives."

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Amber Hurdle

"If we are marked to die, we are enough to do our country loss; and if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honor."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is nothing wrong with men possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess men."

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Amber Hurdle

"Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties."

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Amber Hurdle

"But men are men; the best sometimes forget."

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Amber Hurdle

"Men find it difficult because I've got so much energy and hardly sleep at night, only four or five hours. I wake up in the early hours and potter around."

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Amber Hurdle

"The fault seems to me to have been that men have taken ancient country churches as their models and have failed to discover that between them and churches in towns there ought to be a most distinct and marked difference."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course."

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Amber Hurdle

"Men are strong, women are smart, but no matter how smart, their bellies are always there to betray women and that's their downfall."

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Fred Allen
"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."
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Fred Allen
"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
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Fred Allen
"The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi."
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Fred Allen
"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars."
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Fred Allen
"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."
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Fred Allen
"A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
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Fred Allen
"Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you."
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Fred Allen
"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."
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Fred Allen
"All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it."
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Fred Allen
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
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