"I was going to fight vampires, and my name wasn't Buffy--I was so screwed."

Humor, Struggle, Adventure, Fate

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"I was going to fight vampires, and my name wasn't Buffy--I was so screwed."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Humor, Truth, Power, Wisdom

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

George R. R. Martin, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Judgment, Truth

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

Explore more quotes by Patricia Briggs

"New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won't hit Charles's mate in front of his father."

Wisdom, Rules, Life, Strategy, Observation

"Vampire politics make the very complicated dance of manners that is werewolf protocol look like the Hokey Pokey."

Politics, Complexity, Supernatural, Rules

"Trouble seems to follow me around, waiting to club me with a tire iron."

Adversity, Trouble, Fate, Resilience, Humor

"It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don't play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts."

Caution, Wisdom, Humor, Learning

"All life is rife with possibilities. Seeds have possibilities, but all their tomorrows are caught by the patterning of their life cycle. Animals have possibilities that are greater than that of a fir tree or a blade of grass. Still, though, for most animals, the pattern of instinct, the patterns of their lives, are very strong. Humanity has a far greater range of possibilities, especially the very young. Who will children grow up to be? Who will they marry, what will they believe, what will they create? Creation is a very powerful seed of possibility."

Philosophy, Possibility, Life, Future, Growth

"Identity was partly heritage, partly upbringing, but mostly the choices you make in life. - Bran."

Identity, Choice, Heritage, Life

"All right," Mom said. She gave Samuel a stern look,"Now I don't know what's going on between you and my daughter and Adam Hauptman-""Neither do we," I mutteredSamuel grinned "We have it pretty well worked out as far as the sex goes. Adam gets it-someday-and I don't. But the rest is still up for negotiation."

Relationship, Humor, Negotiation, Youth

"Love thy enemies, it says in the scriptures. My foster mother always added, "At the very least, you will be polite to them."

Spiritual, Morality, Kindness, Faith, Religion

"I don't know who you think you are - my mother's voice was low and dangerous - "but if you don't get out of my way right this instant, it won't matter.Adam was the Alpha werewolf in charge of the local pack. He was tough. He could be mean when he had to - and he wouldn't stand a chance against my mom."

Family, Authority, Power, Conflict

"You can't cage an eagle for long without destroying it."

Freedom, Observation, Metaphor, Life