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"My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo."
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"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere."
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Personal Development
"I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet."
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Personal Development
"It's true, you can never eat a pet you name. And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy."
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Personal Development
"I'm not about to go out and buy a snake for a pet. I mean, I may have faced a few fears but I'm not insane."
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"Crabbed and obscure definitions are of no use beyond a narrow circle of students, of whom probably every one has a pet one of his own."
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Personal Development
"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation."
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Personal Development
"When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be."
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Personal Development
"I have a Lab, it's fun to hang out and hike with the dog, people come up to him, and pet him, it's fun."
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Personal Development
"It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young."
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"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
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Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly
"I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days."
Love
"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."
Word
"Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet."
Being
"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on."
Trust
"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered."
People
"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."
Thinking
"It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things."
God
"I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."
Army
"The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know."
Love
"There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter."
June
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