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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I'm at peace with myself and where I am. In the past, I was always looking to see how everybody else was doing. I wasn't competitive, I was comparative. I just wanted to be where everybody else was. Now I've gotten to an age when I am not comparing anymore."
Age
"A lot of my humor does come from anger. It's like, you're not gonna pull one over on me - which is pretty much my motto anyways."
Humor
"Sometimes I use Botox. Compared to most, I use it very sparingly. One time I did too much, though. I feel weird if I can't move my face, and that one time I overdid it, I felt trapped in my own skin."
Time
"If I like myself at this weight, then this is what I'm going to be. I don't have an eating disorder."
Disorder
"When David Arquette and I got engaged we started therapy together. I'd heard that the first year of marriage is the hardest, so we decided to work through all that stuff early."
Marriage
"I don't think I'm too thin at all. I understand when people say, 'Well your face gets gaunt,' but to get your bottom half to be the right size, your face might have to be a little gaunt. You choose your battles."
People
"I don't want to feel I'm responsible for anorexia across the country."
Country
"Always a godmother, never a mother. That sucks. I've got to get me one of those little accessories."
Mother
"I'm a gemini, and I get so bored so easily. I mean, I have moved six times in the last eight years."
Years
"I'm not going to deny it. I'm a neat person, there's no question. But I don't become obsessed with it."
Question
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