"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."

God,

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"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."

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"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."

C. S. Lewis, British Author

God, Glory, Man, Sun

"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

God,

"If honest of heart and uprightness before God were lacking or if I did not patiently wait on God for instruction, or if I preferred the counsel of my fellow-men to the declarations of the Word of God, I made great mistakes."

George Muller, English Clergyman

God, Heart, Mistakes, Word

"When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

God, Gods

"Call on God, but row away from the rocks."

Hunter S. Thompson, American Journalist

God,

"Exceeds man's might: that dwells with the gods above."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

God, Gods, Man

"In most conventional novels, God is not allowed to be nuts. Nor are nuts allowed to be God."

John Sladek, American Author

God,

"God and other artists are always a little obscure....."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

God, Obscurity, Mystery, Creativity

"If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till he has done this before paying much attention to him."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

God, People, Attention, Will

"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."

Voltaire, French Writer

God,

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car."

Car

"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"

Man

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."

Golf

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

Mother

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Exlpore more God quotes

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."

"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."

"If honest of heart and uprightness before God were lacking or if I did not patiently wait on God for instruction, or if I preferred the counsel of my fellow-men to the declarations of the Word of God, I made great mistakes."

"When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers."

"Call on God, but row away from the rocks."

"Exceeds man's might: that dwells with the gods above."

"In most conventional novels, God is not allowed to be nuts. Nor are nuts allowed to be God."

"God and other artists are always a little obscure....."

"If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till he has done this before paying much attention to him."

"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him."

"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."

"Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to."

"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

"I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car."

"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."