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Eoin Colfer

"How did that go [Butler] asked. 'Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age.'Fabulous, said Artemis, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 'We're planning a June wedding."

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"How did that go [Butler] asked. 'Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age.'Fabulous, said Artemis, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 'We're planning a June wedding."

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Asa Don Brown

"The real reason the number of things that are shared via social media every single minute is so astronomical is because, whenever they each do, most users do not share or say something because they believe they have something worth remembering; they do mainly or only because they fear being forgotten."

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Asa Don Brown

"You know you made it, when your friends tell their friends that you are their friend."

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"To associate with other like-minded people in small purposeful groups is for the great majority of men and women a source of profound psychological satisfaction."

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Asa Don Brown

"Live together as united people in a beautiful peaceful world."

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"Strangers," the Blue Man said, "are just family yo have yet to come to know."

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Asa Don Brown

"When you're on a Ferris wheel all anyone ever talks about is being on the Ferris wheel and the view from the Ferris wheel and whether the Ferris wheel is scary and how many more times it will go around. Dating is like that. Nobody who's doing it ever talks about anything else. I have no interest in dating."

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Asa Don Brown

"Looks like somebody's got jungle fever.''That's not even the right kind of racist."

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"It's considered good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."

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Asa Don Brown

"Anonymity beats fame. One cannot undo fame."

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Eoin Colfer
"Some people just needed to be stolen from."
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Eoin Colfer
"Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional."
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Eoin Colfer
"Artemis looked at Holly and felt a tremendous affection for her... he could properly appreciate how fierce and beautiful his best friend was...She is truly magical, thought Artemis. Perhaps her qualities are more obvious to me now that I have decided to sacrifice myself."
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Eoin Colfer
"I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal."
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"I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?"
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Eoin Colfer
"Good. Illegal is always faster."
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Eoin Colfer
"The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end."
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Eoin Colfer
"Ambition had a price, and that price was friendship."
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Eoin Colfer
"Victor Vigny: A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.Conor Broekhart: Which resembles a giant banana."
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Eoin Colfer
"All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket."
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