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Robert Orben

"I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."

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"I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."

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Amber Hurdle

"Today or any day that phone may ring and bring good news."

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"I've learned to relax more. Everybody feels pressure in what they do, maybe mine is just a little different because there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish what I want to."

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Amber Hurdle

"What really happened was one day I decided to write a new kind of play."

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Amber Hurdle

"I never read Playboy before I started working there and stopped reading it the day I quit."

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Amber Hurdle

"We all get so caught up in our day-to-day lives and have so many gripes. But when you see the way others live and how they make the best of it, you'll realize how lucky you are."

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Amber Hurdle

"We have had a very severe frost and deep snow this month. My thermometer was one day fourteen degrees and a half below the freezing point, within doors."

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Amber Hurdle

"But one led to two, two led to four, four led to eight, until at the end it was about 85 a day - the doctors could not believe I was taking that much. And that was just the valium - I'm not talking about the other pills I went through."

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Amber Hurdle

"There should be a law that there's a pajama day every few weeks."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart."

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Amber Hurdle

"I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day."

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Robert Orben
"If you can laugh together, you can work together."
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Robert Orben
"A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in."
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Robert Orben
"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
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Robert Orben
"Do your kids a favor - don't have any."
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Robert Orben
"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
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Robert Orben
"Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price."
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Robert Orben
"Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'"
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Robert Orben
"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get."
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Robert Orben
"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."
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Robert Orben
"Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet."
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