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Rita Rudner

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."

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"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."

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Amber Hurdle

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."

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Amber Hurdle

"Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more."

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Amber Hurdle

"My saddle horses are my friends. My dogs are my friends."

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Amber Hurdle

"For instance, it was very rare for anyone there with dogs to allow them into the house."

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Amber Hurdle

"Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar."

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Amber Hurdle

"The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast."

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Amber Hurdle

"I also have two dogs, a Chihuahua and a Yorkshire terrier, so if they like him, that's a good sign."

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Amber Hurdle

"The king appeared... with his dogs and sycophants behind him."

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Amber Hurdle

"We had five goats, two dogs, a cat and racks of commentaries on Shakespeare."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you live among dogs, keep a stick. After all, this is what a hound has teeth for-to bite when he feels like it!"

Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
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Rita Rudner
"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."
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Rita Rudner
"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"
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Rita Rudner
"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them."
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Rita Rudner
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
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Rita Rudner
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
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Rita Rudner
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."
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Rita Rudner
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
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Rita Rudner
"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."
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Rita Rudner
"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."
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