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"I think comedy is one of the hardest things to do."
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"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."

"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving."

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

"Especially while television I think is going through some growing pains or is in need of - I think current comedy is a bit, uh, not happening, you know?"
Explore more quotes by Faith Ford

"When I was in school, I was very involved with a lot of things. I was very very active. I couldn't say that I wasn't popular. I was a cheerleader when I was in junior high. I didn't make it in high school so I started a dance line."

"Usually when you're working is when people want you to work. They don't want you as much when you're not working. That's the frustrating nature of our business."

"I have a friend that has five kids and she went through a trial separation with her husband, and she didn't have time to be upset. Every now and then, she'd call me on the cell phone and just cry."

"My theory is, if you can do comedy and you can be in a scene with someone like Brad Garrett and hold your own, you've really got a future in this business."

"One thing I think kids need to do is more chores, and take care of their own rooms. Responsibilities are really important to start them with. If they have animals, they have to feed them and care for them. That's the only way I think I could do it."
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