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"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
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"I started working around eigth grade. I remember doing a Doritos commercial where there were four days in a row of eating them, and I will tell you, I have not eaten many Doritos since."
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Personal Development
"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher."
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Personal Development
"I was not created to be occupied by eating delicious foods like tied up cattle."
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Personal Development
"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
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Personal Development
"Dinner was made for eating, not for talking."
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Personal Development
"I've done the Rolling Stones eating each other."
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Personal Development
"Lunch kills half of Paris, supper the other half."
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Personal Development
"The sun would come up over the ocean, and we'd be eating scrambled eggs before we shot some stuff. It was a vacation in the sense that it was the best working conditions."
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Personal Development
"I am inclined to think that eating is a private thing and should be done alone, like other bodily functions."
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Personal Development
More
"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Time
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
Soul
"I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show."
Memory
"Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of people killed by a number. '200 Dead as Number Three Slams Ashore' is not nearly as interesting a headline as 'Charlie kills 200.' Death is much more satisfying and entertaining if you personalize it.Me, I'm still waitin' for Hurricane Ed. Old Ed wouldn't hurt ya, would he? Sounds kinda friendly. 'Hell no, we ain't evacuatin'. Ed's comin'!"
Reflection
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
Thought
"I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share."
Success
"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."
Health
"My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm fuckin' serious!"
Childhood
"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it'll be today again."
Life
"When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands."
Life
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