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"I am often the brunt of my own humor."
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"If it works, it will be plenty dramatic. And I suppose that if it doesn't work, it will be even more dramatic, what with the blast.""David, I think you just made a joke."He frowned, utterly perplexed. "Did I?"
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Personal Development
"Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest."
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Personal Development
"Great men may jest with saints 'tis wit in them But in the less foul profanation."
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Personal Development
"You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.'Nope,' I replied."
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Personal Development
"Look, he's winding up the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike."
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Personal Development
"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."
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Personal Development
"My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she'll end up taking over."
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Personal Development
"He who has provoked the lash of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it."
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Personal Development
"When you have wit of your own, it's a pleasure to credit other people for theirs."
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Personal Development
"Oh, I can't help quoting you, because everything that you said rings true."
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Personal Development
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"The swift wind of compromise is a lot more devastating than the sudden jolt of misfortune."
Compromise
"Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitudes toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it."
Life
"Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill."
Education
"When I think of vision, I have in mind the ability to see above and beyond the majority."
Vision
"The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it's a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free."
Life
"I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun."
Life
"Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children."
Banks
"Faith itself cannot accomplish anything, yet without faith, no one can fly."
Belief
"God never asked us to meet life's pressures and demands on our own terms or by relying upon our own strength. Nor did He demands that we win His favor by assembling an impressive portfolio of good deeds. Instead, He invites us to enter His rest."
Faith
"The Promised Land was a tangible representation of God's ultimate desire for His people, but they failed to comprehend His gift for at least three reasons: It was unconditionally promised, it was outrageously generous, and it was absolutely free. None of those make sense in the world as we know it."
Theology
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