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"Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas."
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"Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity."
Author Name
Personal Development
"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There's always been physical suffering in comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Partly because the town is just finicky, there are strange Catch 22 clauses in the consciousness of this community and one of them was that you, I found out, you can't do a comedy unless you've just done a comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"There's quite a lot of bad stuff written about me. My wife even says a lot of bad stuff about me. But she is wonderful."
Wife
"My own mentality is that I've retired. They send me these scripts and if I absolutely have to do it, then I go to work."
Work
"The standing ovation threw me... to be held in such regard in a town so full of talent is quite something."
Talent
"For all my education, accomplishments, and so called 'wisdom'... I can't fathom my own heart."
Education
"Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award."
Time
"Save your money. You're going to need twice as much money in your old age as you think."
Age
"I'm every bourgeois nightmare - a Cockney with intelligence and a million dollars."
Intelligence
"Obsession is a young man's game, and my only excuse is that I never grew old."
Man
"I read books like mad, but I am careful to to let anything I read influence me."
Books
"I felt a tremendous sadness for men who can't deal with a woman of their own age."
Age
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