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"Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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"Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons."
Funny

"The standing ovation threw me... to be held in such regard in a town so full of talent is quite something."
Talent

"Obsession is a young man's game, and my only excuse is that I never grew old."
Man

"Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award."
Time

"Save your money. You're going to need twice as much money in your old age as you think."
Age

"If you're a movie actor, you're on your own - you cannot control the stage. The director controls it."
Control

"I did everything. I ran my life exactly as I wanted to, all the time. I never listened to anybody. I'm pig-headed."
Life

"Comedy is underrepresented in every actor's life, because it's so bloody difficult to write."
Life

"I prefer to remake flops. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was a remake of a flop, and The Quiet American is a remake of a flop."
American

"I felt a tremendous sadness for men who can't deal with a woman of their own age."
Age
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