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"You could be Charles Manson, or Hitler, or even a lawyer who advertises on television, and your dog will still think you're the greatest thing ever. This tells you something very important about dogs: They are not very bright."
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"If you need to find out who is your friend among many, stimulate a resolutive conflict."
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Personal Development
"Then the lover, who is true and no counterfeit, must of necessity be loved by his love."
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Personal Development
"Given the nature of the human couple, the love of a man and a woman is a priori inferior to that which can exist (at least in the best instances) in the love between man and dog...It is a completely selfless love."
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Personal Development
"If you aren't loyal to the few you won't be blessed with the many."
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Personal Development
"I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass."
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Personal Development
"But I would not break. I would not give up Ember's location, or Riley's underground. The next few hours might have me wishing I was dead, but I would not betray the girl I loved to the organization. They would have to kill me."
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Personal Development
"I'll get there, if I leave everything but my bones behind," said Sam. "And I'll carry Mr. Frodo up myself, if it breaks my back and heart."
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Personal Development
"Sisters in battle, I am shield and blade to you. As I breathe, your enemies will know no sanctuary. While I live, your cause is mine."
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Personal Development
"Your Majesty-Tugging my ear. Whenever."
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Personal Development
"I know that you are my guard, and you are my best friend. I know you would die for me. And I know that should that ever happen, I would die immediately after."
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"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"
Society
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
Business
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
Time
"The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting."
History
"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
Trust
"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."
Building
"I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War."
War
"The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television."
Television
"Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print."
Religion
"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling."
Humor
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