"No one, I fancy, would discredit a story that the Archbishop of Canterbury slipped on a banana skin merely because he found that a similar comic mishap had been reported of many people, and especially of elderly gentlemen of dignity."

Humor, Story, Elderly, Dignity

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"No one, I fancy, would discredit a story that the Archbishop of Canterbury slipped on a banana skin merely because he found that a similar comic mishap had been reported of many people, and especially of elderly gentlemen of dignity."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Beginning, Word

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

Explore more quotes by J. R. R. Tolkien

"The most improper job of any man, even saints (who at any rate were at least unwilling to take it on), is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity."

Leadership

"The proper study of Man is anything but Man; and the most improper job of any man, even saints (who at any rate were at least unwilling to take it on), is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity."

Leadership

"I could not 'make' you--except by force, which would break your mind."

Power

"Grief is a hone to a hard mind."

Leadership

"Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!"

Leadership

"I wish Merry was here," he heard himself saying, and quick thoughts raced through his mind, even as he watched the enemy come charging to the assault. "Well, well, now at any rate I understand poor Denethor a little better. We might die together, Merry and I, and since die we must, why not? Well, as he is not here, I hope he'll find an easier end. But now I must do my best."

Death

"Smeagol won't grub for roots and carrotses and - taters. What's taters,precious, eh, what's taters?""Po-ta-toes!" said Sam."

Humor

"Criticism - however valid or intellectually engaging - tends to get in the way of a writer who has anything personal to say. A tightrope walker may require practice, but if he starts a theory of equilibrium he will lose grace (and probably fall off)."

Creativity

"The mind that thought of light, heavy, grey, yellow, still, swift, also conceived of magic that would make heavy things light and be able to fly, turn grey lead into yellow gold, and the still rock into a swift water."

Reflection

"Well, you can go on looking forward," said Gandalf. "There may be many unexpected feasts ahead of you."

Inspirational