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"The polls indicated that I was feisty, that I was tough, that I had a sense of humor, but they weren't quite sure if they liked me and they didn't know whether or not that I was sensitive."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
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Personal Development
"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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"I readily admit I was not an expert on foreign policy but I was knowledgeable and I didn't need a man who was the Vice President of the United States and my opponent turning around and putting me down."
Policy
"People who live through transplants or disasters like Sept. 11 are survivors."
People
"We were so shocked by how fast that war went that President Bush did not have a plan, a peace plan."
Peace
"You don't have to have fought in a war to love peace."
Love
"But I made one mistake which I would never repeat as a member of Congress when I was in Washington, and that was when I was elected I didn't go on trips because I was so afraid of having someone accuse me of taking junkets."
Mistake
"I was a trial lawyer when I was elected to Congress."
Career
"I'm a happy camper because by doing this I have an opportunity to be on the cutting edge of research."
Opportunity
"I'd call it a new version of voodoo economics, but I'm afraid that would give witch doctors a bad name."
Criticism
"What are my sources of strength? My husband and my three kids, my health-care team, and my religion."
Religion
"We had prepared, my staff had prepared for me a whole dossier on virtually - on George Bush on his votes on his records, what he had done over the past number of years in public service."
Past
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