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"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
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"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Time

"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."
People

"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."
Listening

"Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established."
Example

""I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?"
Language

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."
Purpose

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."
America

"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."
Future

"There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi."
Humor

"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
Society
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"You've got to be closer to the edge than ever to win. That means sometimes you go over the edge, and I don't mean driving, either."
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Personal Development

"Mind your driving."
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Personal Development

"I quit driving, I'm not retired."
Author Name
Personal Development

"With the marketing pressures driving the book world today, it's much easier to get the author of a memoir on a television show than a serious novelist."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Composing is like driving down a foggy road toward a house. Slowly you see more details of the house-the color of the slates and bricks, the shape of the windows. The notes are the bricks and the mortar of the house."
Author Name
Personal Development

"When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis, Memphis."
Author Name
Personal Development

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"
Author Name
Personal Development

"I grew up at 16 years old driving trucks across the George Washington Bridge."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Well, I've learned something from Michael Robison just about maximizing your shots. For example, if I'm shooting a scene and someone's driving at the wheel, you could steal an insert in the same shot."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I started by looking everything up in a Star Trek dictionary so I knew what I was talking about, but you can't do that because they talk in circles, and half of it doesn't make sense, so you'll just end up driving yourself more insane."
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Personal Development
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