"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

Driving,

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"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

Exlpore more Driving quotes

"Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Driving, Humor, Exaggeration, Chaos

"I wasn't the kind of person that liked waiting for autographs or following them, I just liked to go to the shows, study their records, driving many, many hours to different states to go to concerts."

Lenny Kravitz, American Musician

Driving, states, Study, Waiting

"I started by looking everything up in a Star Trek dictionary so I knew what I was talking about, but you can't do that because they talk in circles, and half of it doesn't make sense, so you'll just end up driving yourself more insane."

Jeri Ryan, American Actress

Driving, End, Sense, Talk

"I quit driving, I'm not retired."

Richard Petty, American Athlete

Driving,

"When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis, Memphis."

Elvis Presley, American Musician

Driving, Poor, School

"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."

Jean Baudrillard, French Sociologist

Driving,

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

Tim Vine, British Comedian

Driving, Today

"Look, I know he's been married three times before. I accept it, but I don't want it driving up the driveway."

Meg Tilly, American Actress

Driving, Want

"I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road."

Jay London, American Comedian

Driving, Lonely, Road

"Finally, we should help developing nations like China and India curb their exponentially increasing consumption of oil and natural gas, which is driving world prices higher."

Bobby Jindal, American Politician

Driving, Help, Nations, Oil

Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

Hell

"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."

Expression

"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

Humor

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."

Symbol

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

America

"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be."

Perspective

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

Crime

"I read that Monica Seles got stabbed. And although I have nothing against Monica Seles, I'm glad somebody in sports got stabbed. I like the idea of it; it's good entertainment. If we're lucky, it'll spread through sports. And show business, too! Wouldn't you like to see a guy jump up on stage and stab some famous singer? Especially a real shitty pop singer? Maybe they'll even start stabbing comedians. Fuck it, I'm ready! I never perform without my can of mace. I have a switchblade knife, too. I'll cut your eye out and go right on telling jokes."

Reality

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

Soul

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

Pet