"There are three side effects of acid: enhanced long-term memory, decreased short-term memory, and I forget the third."

Humor, Forget, Memory

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"There are three side effects of acid: enhanced long-term memory, decreased short-term memory, and I forget the third."

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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Singing, Sadness, Voice

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Fishing, Perspective

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, May, Ugly, Will

Explore more quotes by Timothy Leary

"The universe is an intelligence test."

Intelligence

"My advice to people today is as follows: if you take the game of life seriously, if you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your sense organs seriously, if you take the energy process seriously, you must turn on, tune in, and drop out."

Life

"Think for yourself and question authority."

Authority

"I've left specific instructions that I do not want to be brought back during a Republican administration."

Humor

"We are dealing with the best-educated generation in history. But they've got a brain dressed up with nowhere to go."

History

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

Man

"In the information age, you don't teach philosophy as they did after feudalism. You perform it. If Aristotle were alive today he'd have a talk show."

Age

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Explore more quotes by Timothy Leary

"The universe is an intelligence test."

"My advice to people today is as follows: if you take the game of life seriously, if you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your sense organs seriously, if you take the energy process seriously, you must turn on, tune in, and drop out."

"Think for yourself and question authority."

"I've left specific instructions that I do not want to be brought back during a Republican administration."

"You're only as young as the last time you changed your mind."

"Science is all metaphor."

"Learning how to operate a soul figures to take time."

"We are dealing with the best-educated generation in history. But they've got a brain dressed up with nowhere to go."

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

"In the information age, you don't teach philosophy as they did after feudalism. You perform it. If Aristotle were alive today he'd have a talk show."