"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."

Elections, Name

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"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."

Exlpore more Elections quotes

"Our elections are free, it's in the results where eventually we pay."

Bill Stern, American Actor

Elections, Results

"Do not seek to find a reason why elections are not possible. Seek to make them possible, and they will be possible."

Ahmed Chalabi, Iraqi Statesman

Elections, Reason, Will

"I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling."

Rob Corddry, American Comedian

Elections, Night, Years

"I know that elections must be limited only to those who understand that the Arabs are the deadly enemy of the Jewish state, who would bring on us a slow Auschwitz - not with gas, but with knives and hatchets."

Meir Kahane, American Clergyman

Elections, Enemy, State

"The Iraqi elections were an important first step."

Brent Scowcroft, American Public Servant

Elections, First

"I am planning to return and contest the October elections in Pakistan."

Benazir Bhutto, Pakistani Leader

Elections, October, Planning

"I think the Democratic Party realizes, having lost two presidential elections, we need to do a better job of creating a farm team."

John Mahoney, English Actor

Elections, Job, Party

"The labour Party has lost the last four elections. If they lose another, they get to keep the liberal party."

Clive Anderson, English Entertainer

Elections, Liberal, Party

"The candidate out front on Labor Day has historically been the one who stayed ahead in November."

Peter Jennings, Canadian Journalist

Elections, Day, Labor

"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"

Robert Orben, American Entertainer

Elections, Feeling, Reason, Right

Explore more quotes by Conan O'Brien

"Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."

Exhaustion

"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."

School

"The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army."

Government

"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language."

Success

"This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him."

Popular

"The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.'"

War

"Fish recognize a bad leader."

Leader

"Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity."

Fans

"CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'"

Man

"Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood."

African