"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."

Elections, Name

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"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."

Exlpore more Elections quotes

"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"

Robert Orben, American Entertainer

Elections, Feeling, Reason, Right

"The candidate out front on Labor Day has historically been the one who stayed ahead in November."

Peter Jennings, Canadian Journalist

Elections, Day, Labor

"I think the Democratic Party realizes, having lost two presidential elections, we need to do a better job of creating a farm team."

John Mahoney, English Actor

Elections, Job, Party

"I know that elections must be limited only to those who understand that the Arabs are the deadly enemy of the Jewish state, who would bring on us a slow Auschwitz - not with gas, but with knives and hatchets."

Meir Kahane, American Clergyman

Elections, Enemy, State

"The Iraqi elections were an important first step."

Brent Scowcroft, American Public Servant

Elections, First

"I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling."

Rob Corddry, American Comedian

Elections, Night, Years

"Do not seek to find a reason why elections are not possible. Seek to make them possible, and they will be possible."

Ahmed Chalabi, Iraqi Statesman

Elections, Reason, Will

"I am constitutionally competent to contest the elections."

Benazir Bhutto, Pakistani Leader

Elections,

"The labour Party has lost the last four elections. If they lose another, they get to keep the liberal party."

Clive Anderson, English Entertainer

Elections, Liberal, Party

"I am planning to return and contest the October elections in Pakistan."

Benazir Bhutto, Pakistani Leader

Elections, October, Planning

Explore more quotes by Conan O'Brien

"Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."

Exhaustion

"This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him."

Popular

"Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen."

Dating

"Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly."

Party

"Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood."

African

"Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years."

Controversy

"Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob."

War

"The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.'"

War

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

Life

"Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity."

Fans