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"When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less."
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"I started working around eigth grade. I remember doing a Doritos commercial where there were four days in a row of eating them, and I will tell you, I have not eaten many Doritos since."

"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."

"You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher."

"I was not created to be occupied by eating delicious foods like tied up cattle."

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."

"Dinner was made for eating, not for talking."

"Lunch kills half of Paris, supper the other half."

"I am inclined to think that eating is a private thing and should be done alone, like other bodily functions."
Explore more quotes by Richard Armour

"Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong."

"I love a finished speaker, I really, truly do I don't mean one who's polished, I just mean one who's through."
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