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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!"
Hate
"Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary."
Hate
"He has your finger, but I have your heart."
Heart
"Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure."
Work
"A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both."
Government
"Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both."
Peace
"Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source."
Love
"I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever."
Creativity
"True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't."
Will
"Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both."
Unity
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