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Carrot Top

"It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends."

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"It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends."

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"Leaving America is like losing twenty pounds and finding a new girlfriend."

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"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes.""

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"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."

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