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"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
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"Before I go on with this short history, let me make a general observation" the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. This philosophy fitted on to my early adult life, when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the "impossible," come true."
"Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent."
"Smartness without wisdom is stupidity."
"Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life."
"A researcher that has a brain that functions differently from their peers is at an advantage, as they can see things that the others cannot."
"Your complete intelligence is designed to experience the fullness of life, not a narrow omission of its best possibilities."
"Emotionally intelligent people can focus their emotions to improve performance and productivity."
"Most unintelligent or foolish people do not regard themselves as that, they regard themselves as not-that-intelligent or not-that-wise."
"None of us is born a genius, it self-ignites within us."
"Once intelligent beings achieve technology and the capacity for self-destruction of their species, the selective advantage of intelligence becomes more uncertain."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
"The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right."
"I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed."
"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
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