"Jon:'What are you doing up there? Why aren't you at the feast?'Tyrion: 'Too hot, too noisy, and I'd drunk too much wine', the dwarf told him. 'I learned long ago that it is considered rude to vomit on your brother."

Humor, Social, Nature, Behavior

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"Jon:'What are you doing up there? Why aren't you at the feast?'Tyrion: 'Too hot, too noisy, and I'd drunk too much wine', the dwarf told him. 'I learned long ago that it is considered rude to vomit on your brother."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist

Humor, Contempt, Music, Order

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

Sara Sheridan, Scottish Author

Humor, Writing, Family, Books

"Let's put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn't bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Sarcasm, Career, Personality

"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"

Shannon A. Thompson, American Author

Humor, Perception, Confusion, Identity, Awareness

"Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying. Enter children's books."

Berkeley Breathed, American Cartoonist

Humor, Negative, Books, Children

Explore more quotes by George R. R. Martin

"There was an agelessness about him, a stillness; on Roose Bolton's face, rage and joy looked much the same."

Emotion

"Flies are the dead man's revenge."

Death

"His cloak was his crowning glory; sable, thick and black and soft as sin."

Symbolism

"One voyage to the East and a man could live as rich as a lord until the end of his days. When he'd been younger, Davos had dreamed of making such voyages himself. But the years went dancing by like moths around a flame, and somehow the time had never been quite right."

Reflection

"People often claim to hunger for truth, but seldom like the taste when it's served up."

Truth

"Never believe anything you hear at a woman's tit."

Humor

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

"Let's put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn't bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you."

"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"

"Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying. Enter children's books."

Explore more quotes by George R. R. Martin

"There was an agelessness about him, a stillness; on Roose Bolton's face, rage and joy looked much the same."

"Flies are the dead man's revenge."

"His cloak was his crowning glory; sable, thick and black and soft as sin."

"One voyage to the East and a man could live as rich as a lord until the end of his days. When he'd been younger, Davos had dreamed of making such voyages himself. But the years went dancing by like moths around a flame, and somehow the time had never been quite right."

"Dream anything hard enough, and it can be yours."

"A harp can be a dangerous as a sword, in the right hands."

"All Knights must bleed. Blood is the seal of our devotion."

"Wolves and women wed for life."

"People often claim to hunger for truth, but seldom like the taste when it's served up."

"Never believe anything you hear at a woman's tit."