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Jon Stewart

"More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had."

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"More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had."

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Amber Hurdle

"In front of us was not a line but a fortress position, twenty miles deep, entrenched and fortified, defended by masses of machine-gun posts and thousands of guns in a wide arc. No chance for cavalry!"

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Amber Hurdle

"We were given no chance against them, but we held our own and we will be trying to do the same this summer."

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Amber Hurdle

"Chance is a name for our ignorance."

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Amber Hurdle

"He is not to pass for a man of reason who stumbles upon reason by chance but he who knows it and can judge it and has a true taste for it."

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Amber Hurdle

"All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else."

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Amber Hurdle

"As far as now, as far as I think everyone deserv a chance. No matter who is he and who was he."

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Amber Hurdle

"I tend to do golf charity things because it's much safer and you don't get much chance of a broken arm or leg."

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Amber Hurdle

"You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere."

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Amber Hurdle

"The only safe thing is to take a chance."

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Amber Hurdle

"I never had a chance to play with dolls like other kids. I started working when I was six years old."

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Jon Stewart
"I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor."
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Jon Stewart
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea."
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Jon Stewart
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
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Jon Stewart
"President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader."
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Jon Stewart
"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is."
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Jon Stewart
"I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over."
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Jon Stewart
"Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain."
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Jon Stewart
"If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news."
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Jon Stewart
"The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him."
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Jon Stewart
"Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?"
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