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"More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had."
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"We now consider as fundamental economic functions of the state, many duties that were left a generation ago to chance."

"We need to go to the niceties of approaching the U. N. and let them have a chance to take it over, but we should set some sort of date and begin to move out and leave it to whoever takes over."

"Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful."

"In front of us was not a line but a fortress position, twenty miles deep, entrenched and fortified, defended by masses of machine-gun posts and thousands of guns in a wide arc. No chance for cavalry!"

"The vice president had a bargaining asset, however, that no ordinary person has: He was next in line to the presidency. I saw no chance that he would resign first, then take his chances on trial, conviction, and jail."

"We've had a chance to be seen by viewers who had never seen us before, and we've kept a lot of them."
Explore more quotes by Jon Stewart

"Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain."

"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is."

"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."

"President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader."

"I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over."
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