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Chuck Klosterman

"Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose."

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"Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose."

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

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Amber Hurdle

" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."

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Amber Hurdle

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

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Amber Hurdle

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."

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Amber Hurdle

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

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Amber Hurdle

"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."

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Amber Hurdle

"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."

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Amber Hurdle

"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."

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Amber Hurdle

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

Explore more quotes by Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
"When you're writing for newspapers you have all these parameters. You can't swear, you have to use short paragraphs, all that. If you stay within those parameters, you have lots of freedom because you're writing for the next day."
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Chuck Klosterman
"The future is a teenage crackhead who makes shit up as he goes along."
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Chuck Klosterman
"It's hard for Americans to differentiate between talent and notoriety, TV confuses people."
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Chuck Klosterman
"The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself."
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Chuck Klosterman
"I feel sorry for people who have to edit me. Which is why book writing is by far the most enjoyable. Really the only thing it's based on is whether it's good or not. No book editor, in my experience, is getting a manuscript and try to rewrite it."
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Chuck Klosterman
"Art and love are the same thing: It's the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you."
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Chuck Klosterman
"It's natural to think of one's own life as a novel (or a movie or a play), and within that narrative we are always the central character. Thoughtful people try to overcome this compulsion, but they usually fail (in fact, trying makes it worse). In a commencement speech at Kenyon College, David Foster Wallace argued that conquering the preoccupation with self is pretty much the whole objective of being aliveS-Sbut if we are to believe Wallace succeeded at this goal, it must be the darkest success imaginable."
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Chuck Klosterman
"I wake up, I feel the inescapable oppression of the sunlight pouring through my bedroom window, and I am struck by the fact that I am alone. And that everyone is alone. And that everything I understood seven hours ago has already changed, and that I have to learn everything again."
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Chuck Klosterman
"I was fortunate that I was at newspapers for eight years, where I wrote at least five or six stories every week. You get used to interviewing lots of different people about a lot of different things. And they aren't things you know about until you do the story."
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Chuck Klosterman
"In Fargo, they say, well, that's a job. How well do you get paid? For example, for this book I was written about in Entertainment Weekly, and it was kind of cool because my mom asked me if Entertainment Weekly was a magazine or a newspaper."
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