"A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."

Man, Months

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"A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."

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"Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts."

Voltaire, French Writer

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"Of all the men that have run for president in the twentieth century, only George McGovern truly understood what a monument America could be to the human race."

Hunter S. Thompson, American Journalist

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"Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

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"Man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it."

John Steinbeck, American Author

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"Men should not try to overstrain their goodness more than any other faculty, bodily or mental."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

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"Priests are not men of the world; it is not intended that they should be; and a University training is the one best adapted to prevent their becoming so."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

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"It is better to risk saving a guilty man than to condemn an innocent one."

Voltaire, French Writer

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"I have made as much out of myself as could be made of the stuff, and no man should require more."

Jean Paul, German Author

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"Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die."

Voltaire, French Writer

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"Time, which alone makes the reputation of men, ends by making their defects respectable."

Voltaire, French Writer

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Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car."

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"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"

Man

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Exlpore more Man quotes

"Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts."

"Of all the men that have run for president in the twentieth century, only George McGovern truly understood what a monument America could be to the human race."

"Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice."

"Man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it."

"Men should not try to overstrain their goodness more than any other faculty, bodily or mental."

"Priests are not men of the world; it is not intended that they should be; and a University training is the one best adapted to prevent their becoming so."

"It is better to risk saving a guilty man than to condemn an innocent one."

"I have made as much out of myself as could be made of the stuff, and no man should require more."

"Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die."

"Time, which alone makes the reputation of men, ends by making their defects respectable."

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him."

"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."

"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."

"Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to."

"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."

"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

"I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car."

"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"