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"When a fat person goes in the water naked, would it still be called skinny-dipping?"
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"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"

"Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men."

"Is somethin' wrong?" said Daft Wullie."Aye!" snapped the kelda. "Rob willnae tak' a drink o' Special Sheep Liniment!"Wullie's little face screwed up in instant grief."Ach, the Big Man's deid!" he sobbed. "Oh waily waily waily - "Will ye hush yer gob, ye big mudlin!" shouted Rob Anybody, standing up. "I am no' deid! I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man cannae feel the chilly winds o' Fate lashing aroound his nethers wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?"

"It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death."

"I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor."

"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"

"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"

"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."
Explore more quotes by Anthony Liccione

"My brain as the engine, with thoughts trailing to the caboose, on a one-track mind we keep going forward."

"They say blood is thicker than water, but I say ice, can be more solid than blood, when times get cold."

"Distance can make a love fade, while closeness can make hate flare; as distance can make hate fade, while closeness can make love flare."

"Feelings could override facts, as facts could alter feelings. Choose the truth first, rather than following after feelings."

"Love is like a match to a wick. It takes that right combination to strike a flame. But once the flame is there, it can either give warmth, die out or burn your world to ashes. Even kill you. It's how you sustain the flame, feed it, and moderate the amount of energy in balance."
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