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"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
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"The moment comes when a character does or says something you hadn't thought about. At that moment he's alive and you leave it to him."
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Personal Development
"One great use of words is to hide our thoughts."
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Personal Development
"Never underestimate the power of a simple thought."
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Personal Development
"Knowledge is intellectual art."
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Personal Development
"If we should think, we should dwell on pure thoughts."
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Personal Development
"Knowledge is life."
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Personal Development
"I thought it completely absurd to mention my name in the same breath as the presidency."
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Personal Development
"In Socrates' thought the two marks of individual self-consciousness appear; it is practical and it is social."
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Personal Development
"I'm often asked what I think about as I run. Usually the people who ask this have never run long distances themselves. I always ponder the question. What exactly do I think about when I'm running? I don't have a clue."
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Personal Development
"You are not a human being, but you are a thinking and dreaming machine."
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Personal Development
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"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
Reason
"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."
Old
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."
Home
"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."
Mistake
"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."
Mother
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
Time
"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"
Husband
"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."
Home
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Medical
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
Growing up
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