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"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
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"When you take action-think.When you fail-think.When you are in doubt-think.When you have lost your way-think.You are nothing but your thoughts."
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Personal Development
"Wherever your thoughts and beliefs can take you, you can go there."
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Personal Development
"Give thy thoughts no tongue."
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Personal Development
"Heresy is another word for freedom of thought."
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Personal Development
"Each "way of thinking" has its own shape and color, which wax and wane like the moon."
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Personal Development
"How can the thoughts be stopped? Tell the thoughts, 'You take care of your own issues; I am not on your side.' That way you will sit on God's side."
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Personal Development
"Of course, in our train of thought, we would all like to think we're on the right track, or at least the same railroad company as the right track."
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Personal Development
"The moment comes when a character does or says something you hadn't thought about. At that moment he's alive and you leave it to him."
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Personal Development
"A man's face as a rule says more, and more interesting things, than his mouth, for it is a compendium of everything his mouth will ever say, in that it is the monogram of all this man's thoughts and aspirations."
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Personal Development
"Doubt isn't original."
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Personal Development
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"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."
Home
"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."
Home
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."
Blood
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
Children
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto."
Money
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."
Beauty
"I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."
Sex
"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."
Reason
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."
Anger
"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."
Mother
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