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"No, there are no hard and fast rules about sources, no printed booklet to help journalists through."
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"Last I checked, the album was #82 out of the top 200 on the Billboard charts thanks to you all. I pray that keeps moving up and with your help it will."

"It's interesting to help someone find their vocabulary. There would not have been a De Niro without a Scorsese."

"The president requested me to restore order in the national team. I have been designated to be part of the official delegation to Egypt to help boost the morale of our players."

"Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help."

"Wherever I go for the military, they always call me Lt. Dan. They just can't help it."
Explore more quotes by Ian Hislop

"Internet journalism is not a world we know very well at all. It's conducted more on the screen and less in bars, which makes it rather less useful for getting stories about people throwing up over one another, which is what one's after."

"All the libel lawyers will tell you there's no libel any more, that everyone's given up."

"This job certainly doesn't win you a huge amount of friends, I accept that, but it is very enjoyable, and deep down I think it's probably quite a worthwhile job."

"They may well say not only is this not true, but I will put in an injunction to prevent publication. No, stories don't go in unless I'm convinced by the people who write them that they're true. And if I'm wrong, then so be it."

"There's an awful lot of terrible television which I could do, but I mostly stick to Have I Got News for You."

"No, there are no hard and fast rules about sources, no printed booklet to help journalists through."
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