"Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore."

Life, Humor, Chaos, Reality

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"Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore."

Exlpore more Life quotes

"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Personal Development

"I will do my very best while there is still grace."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

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"Hope in the heart is the escape in any hardship."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

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"The most important thing in life is to know what you truly want. Then finding it is easy."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"Hope can keep you alive in the midst of the turbulence."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

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"In silence, I hear the music of your heart."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"You will make the world a magnificent place with the magic of your kindness, beauty, peace, and happiness."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"It is the adventure and uncertainties of the journey that makes life so beautiful and interesting."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"If life is a business, then you are blessed with an abundance of capital which is your unconditional love."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"If you know the power of your thoughts, you would never fear failure."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"Maybe in fairytales you're only as old as you feel, but here in L. A. you're every second as old as your pores."

Aging

"Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative."

Endurance

"Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well."

Dreams

"And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever."

Irony

"Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head."

Satire

"A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul."

Insight

"Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars."

Love

"Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously."

Gender

"He looked from His heavens and saw it was good, the toes and the crows all looked like they should. The bunny was quick, the finch bright as a daisy, the owl flew at night, and the tortoise was lazy."

Creation

"Expect stupid. It's everywhere."

Cynicism