"I tried to groan, Help! Help! But the tone that came out was that of polite conversation."

Humor, Politeness, Social, Communication

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"I tried to groan, Help! Help! But the tone that came out was that of polite conversation."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, God, Idiots, Practice, School

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Literary

Explore more quotes by Samuel Beckett

"Dying for dark - the darker the worse. Strange."

Obscurity

"The creation of the world did not take place once and for all time, but takes place every day."

Creation

"She began stroking my ankles. I considered kicking her in the cunt."

Provocation

"Memories are killing. So you must not think of certain things, of those that are dear to you, or rather you must think of them, for if you don't there is the danger of finding them, in your mind, little by little."

Memory

"Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick."

University

"One day we were born, one day we shall die, the same day, the same second."

Mortality

"He sometimes halted without saying anything. Either he had finally nothing to say or while having something to say he finally decided not to say it."

Reticence

"Estragon: They're too bigVladimir: Perhaps you'll have socks some day."

Humor

"If you do not love me I shall not be loved If I do not love you I shall not love."

Love

"To have been always what I am - and so changed from what I was."

Change