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"There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin."
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"Without literature, life is hell."

"The very fact that a Frenchman was prepared, after tow minutes of conversation, to be so friendly towards anyone, especially one who had come from England, made me restless."

"Malcolm Price embodies all that is Welsh, aside from the green valleys and male voice choirs. The will to win against insurmountable odds is a penchant of the Welsh, put this with a propensity to never say 'die' and that is what makes the Welsh so durable."

"What's foreign one can't always keep quite clear of,For good things, oft, are not so near;A German can't endure the French to see or hear of,Yet drinks their wines with hearty cheer."

"We are what we think about and meditate on. Look around people! America is a buffet of violence, a total immersion."

"In entirety, valentine is a FUCKING DAY, rather than the sanctity of its literal meaning."
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson

"Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled."

"School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I remain thankful. I would have died otherwise. As soon as I was able, I read, alone. Under the covers with a flashlight or in my corner of the attic - I sought solace in books. It was from books that I started to get an inkling of the kinds of assholes I was dealing with. I found allies too, in books, characters my age who were going through or had triumphed against the same bullshit."

"Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands."

"I think in our desire to create a better America, we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling."

"Strange star - like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah."

"She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women."

"For example, in Paris, if one desires to buy something, you enter the store and say 'Good morning, sir' or 'madam, ' depending on what is appropriate, you wait until you are greeted, you make polite chitchat about the weather or some such, and when the salesperson asks what they can do for you, then and only then do you bring up the vulgar business of the transaction you require."
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