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Rita Rudner

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."

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"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."

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Amber Hurdle

"A little in drink, but at all times your faithful husband."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm not the one who was elected. I would never do anything to undermine my husband's point of view."

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Amber Hurdle

"But on the other hand, I talked to a woman who was a working woman, and it was actually great for her, because she had her husband one week of the month and the other three weeks, while he was with his other wives, she got to pursue what she wanted to do."

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Amber Hurdle

"Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am happy to know that my husband regards me as a woman and a person."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sometimes I have given my husband a manuscript to read that has turned out to have fantastic rave reviews and he'll tell me it is no good. Well, if I didn't know him as well as I know him I would be terribly depressed."

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Amber Hurdle

"My husband thinks he's compromising if we have one cook instead of three."

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Amber Hurdle

"My husband travels a lot with his job, so we have a lot of frequent flyer miles so we can hop on a plane with no notice. That's a nice luxury and he is very supportive."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be."

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Amber Hurdle

"Chazz Palminteri is just the ultimate screen husband."

Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."
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Rita Rudner
"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."
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Rita Rudner
"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."
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Rita Rudner
"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"
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Rita Rudner
"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax."
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Rita Rudner
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
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Rita Rudner
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
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Rita Rudner
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
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Rita Rudner
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
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Rita Rudner
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
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