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"It'll make you look rugged,' Mel says.'Because I woke up this morning,' I say, 'and the one thing I realized I lacked was ruggedness."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"Like how stars might sound. Or moons But not mountains. Too floaty for mountains. It's a sound like one planet singing to another, high stretched and full of different voices starting at different notes and sloping down to other different notes but all weaving together in a rope of sound that's sad but not sad and slow but not slow and all singing one word. One word."
Art
"She is born in the breath of a cloud."
Art
"I don't want to die. I want to live. I want to live long enough so I can really live."
Life
"We share out craziness, our neuroses, our little bit of screwed-up-ness that comes from our family. We share it. And it feels like love."
Relationship
"We have to lie to ourselves to live. Otherwise, we'd go crazy."
Psychology
"A peace that blacked yer eye,' I say. 'A peace that split yer lip.' He looks at me for another second and then gives a sad snort. "The words of a sage, he says, "in the voice of a hick."
Philosophy
"As incredible as it seemed, time kept moving forward for the rest of the world.The rest of the world that wasn't waiting."
Philosophy
"HELP!I race to the square, crossing it, looking all around, listening out-..It's empty.Viola's breathing heavy in my arms .And Haven is empty.I reach the middle of the square.I don't see nor hear a soul.I spin around again."HELP! I cry.But there's no one.Haven's completely empty.There ain't hope here after all."
Emotion
"If you ever want to see how small you are in the plan of God, just stand at the edge of an ocean."
Spiritual
"No one ever seems to wonder what happens if it turns out we hate living on a planet? What if the sky's too big? What if the air stinks? What if we go hungry?''And what if the air tastes of honey? What if there's so much food we all get too fat? What if the sky is so beautiful we don't get any work done because we're all looking at it too much?"
Philosophy
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