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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs."
Life
"I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life."
Life
"I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust."
Time
"Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time."
Happiness
"I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say."
Movies
"The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent."
Talent
"Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38."
People
"And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard."
Money
"I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking."
Lie
"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
Funny
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