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Lois Greiman

"In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose."

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"In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose."

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"When we feel, a kind of lyric is sung in our heart. When we think, a kind of music is played in our mind. In harmony, both create a beautiful symphony of life."

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"Make a little effort to give up your insignificant quarrels and eventually a better world will follow."

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"Coordinating your gestures with someone's subtle behaviors, can help you gain understanding, realize comfortable compatibility, and develop mutual trust."

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Lois Greiman
"You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father."
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"There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who enjoy a nice salami and those who have no souls."
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Lois Greiman
"If you don't like your teeth, keep your mouth shut."
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"Some people say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. In actuality, you have to make an incision through his skin, both dermis and epidermis, then carefully sever and separate the sternum. Only upon viewing the exposed thoracic cavity can you reach the heart--if indeed the male of the species actually possesses such an organ."
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Lois Greiman
"Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass."
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Lois Greiman
"Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster."
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Lois Greiman
"You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing."
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Lois Greiman
"A person without regrets is called a corpse."
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Lois Greiman
"It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine."
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Lois Greiman
"Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance."
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