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"If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck."
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"You can change a life by touching someone with simple, beautiful, kind, words and a loving smile."
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Personal Development
"We have to change our thoughts before things can change."
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Personal Development
"Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.''Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl."
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Personal Development
"You may turn every house in your neighborhood into a charity center, you may fill the land with soup-kitchens, but the misery of humans will still continue to exist until the character of humanity changes."
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Personal Development
"When you meet someone, and you find that they are prejudiced against your kind, it might be your chance, not to confirm, but to be the one to finally change their mind."
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Personal Development
"Such is the state of life, that none are happy but by the anticipation of change: the change itself is nothing; when we have made it, the next wish is to change again."
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Personal Development
"Every living object has to change every moment just to live."
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Personal Development
"Change is the rule. Permanence is an illusion."
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Personal Development
"Losing your job gives you the opportunity to make your life count."
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Personal Development
"If you don't like the solution, change the problem."
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"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
Family
"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."
Home
"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
People
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
Present
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
People
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
President
"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more."
Moon
"There's no down time any more."
Time
"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
People
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
People
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