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"Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly."
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"Sometimes we're so concerned about giving our children what we never had growing up, we neglect to give them what we did have growing up."

"What thumbsuckers we all are...when it comes to mothers."

"Of course there are mothers,squeezing their breastsdry, pawning their bodies,shedding teeth for their children,or that's our fond belief.But remember - Hanseland Gretel were dumped in the forestbecause their parents were starving."

"We live in a world that has narrowed into a neighborhood before it has broadened into a brotherhood."

"Happy or unhappy, families are all mysterious. We have only to imagine how differently we would be described - and will be, after our deaths - by each of the family members who believe they know us."

"To each other, we were as normal and nice as the smell of bread. We were just a family. In a family even exaggerations make perfect sense."

"I've been my mom's kitchen helper since I was a little kid."
Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce

"They were obviously headstones of graves, though the graves themselves no longer existed as either mounds or depressions; the years had leveled all. Scattered here and there, more massive blocks showed where some pompous or ambitious monument had once flung its feeble defiance at oblivion."

"Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name."

"Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."

"Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."

"Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure."

"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."

"Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage."

"Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead."
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