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"As a career the business of an orthodox preacher is about as successful as that of a celluloid dog chasing an asbestos cat through Hell."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development
"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."
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Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
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Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
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"Life is just one damned thing after another."
Life
"Art is not a thing it is a way."
Art
"No one ever gets far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day."
Leadership
"I believe in the hands that work, in the brains that think, and in the hearts that love...I believe in sunshine, fresh air, friendship, calm sleep, beautiful thoughts."
Belief
"The past is one evil less and one memory more."
Memory
"Optimism is a kind of heart stimulant - the digitalis of failure."
Motivational
"Victory - a matter of staying power."
Success
"Science is simply the classification of the common knowledge of the common people. It is bringing together the things we all know and putting them together so we can use them. This is creation and finds its analogy in Nature, where the elements are combined in certain ways to give us fruits or flowers or grain."
Science
"It is easy to get everything you want, provided you first learn to do without the things you cannot get."
Success
"The thing we fear we bring to pass."
Philosophy
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