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"Jumping Jehoshaphat. O Holy Night."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
Explore more quotes by Patricia Briggs
"Time was such an odd thing. One moment you could talk to someone, then suddenly, they were gone."
"You should be home sleeping. What is the use of having a man in the house, if he cannot take care of you for a while? "Mmm, I said. "I give up. What's the use of having a man in the house?"
"Some people will tell you werewolves can only shapechange under a full moon, but people also say there's no such things as ghosts."
"MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT."
"He sighed. "I don't think an apology will do, Mercy. Because an apology implies that you wouldn't do it again. And, under the circumstances, you wouldn't do anything differently, would you?"No."
"Honey will wipe the floor with you." His eyes went half-mast, and his voice dropped in evident pleasure. "I know."
"You going to watch my butt all day, or are you going to join me?" asked my mate."What if I had said I was going to watch your butt all day?" I asked curiously as I opened the door an stepped into the hot water."I've been considering belly-dancing lessons," he told me in a serious voice."
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