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"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
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"Monofilament is what you use to go fishing. The line on your fishing rod is probably going to be black. You get to the end of the line and you tie on this clear plastic, thin thread called monofilament."
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"There's no taking trout with dry breeches."
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"Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers."
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"I ran around with the other youngsters, hunting, fishing and raising tadpoles and all the rest."
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"We have seen Indians in immense numbers, and all those on this coast of the Pacific contrive to make a good subsistence on various seeds, and by fishing."
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"But very unfortunately the merchant marine died away till even the majority of fishing done about the Cape is in the hands of the Portuguese who emigrated to the Cape some fifty years ago."
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"Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes."
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"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
Argument
"If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?"
Rest
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Press
"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"
Washington
"Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen."
Ocean
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes.""
Girlfriend
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