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"Look at the woebegone walk of him. Eaten a bad egg. Poached eyes on ghost."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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"Love between man and man is impossible because there must not be sexual intercourse and friendship between man and woman is impossible because there must be sexual intercourse."
Friendship
"Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not."
Love
"My words in her mind: cold polished stones sinking through a quagmire."
Writing
"My mouth is full of decayed teeth and my soul of decayed ambitions."
Soul
"The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts."
Man
"Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home."
Home
"I fear those big words which make us so unhappy."
Fear
"Satan, really, is the romantic youth of Jesus re-appearing for a moment."
Religion
"Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America."
History
"The artist like the God of the creation remains within or behind or beyond or above his handiwork invisible refined out of existence indifferent paring his fingernails."
Art
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