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"George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk."
Talk,
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Press
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
Future
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
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"I am told that I talk in shorthand and then smudge it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We would rather speak ill of ourselves than not talk about ourselves at all."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One must steer, not talk."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I never did pal around with actresses. Their talk usually bored me to tears."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's almost better most times to not talk in a scene. I think you can actually express a lot more without words."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wondered if I would talk about drug use. But I guess, why hide it?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'll let the racket do the talking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In the theater, characters have to cut the umbilical cord from the writer and talk in their own voices."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Talk when you talk, walk when you walk, and die when you die."
Author Name
Personal Development
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