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"If you are waiting for the perfect spouse, you are waiting for the perfect disappointment."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development
"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development
"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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Personal Development
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"To go where no man has gone before, follow the steps of Jesus."
Spiritual
"No one can stop you from shinning if you are standing in your own light."
Motivation
"Make your mark now. Make your mark today. Make your mark forever."
Success
"Today's tears are an investment into tomorrow's smiles."
Hope
"The highest wisdom is sometimes found in the lowest people."
Wisdom
"Seeds are proof that God puts within you what is supposed to enrich the world around you."
Inspirational
"A star will shine in the midst of darkness. A flower will bloom in the midst of dirt. A camel will flourish in the midst of doubt. A diamond will form in the midst of pressure. A champion will rise in the midst of hardship."
Perseverance
"Intelligence tells you where to look, wisdom tells you what to see."
Awareness
"The real power of a leader is in the number of minds he can reach, hearts he can touch, souls he can move, and lives he can change."
Leadership
"If you hide honey in the dark, bees will still find it."
Nature
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