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Benjamin Disraeli

"He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong."

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"He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong."

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Asa Don Brown

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Asa Don Brown

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

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Asa Don Brown

"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."

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Asa Don Brown

"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."

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Asa Don Brown

"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."

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Asa Don Brown

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

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Asa Don Brown

"I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...'IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.'Really ...?'IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL."

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Asa Don Brown

"WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?"

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Asa Don Brown

"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."

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"He has not a single redeeming defect."
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"There can be economy only where there is efficiency."
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"The question is this: Is man an ape or an angel? I my lords am on the side of the angels."
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"Be frank and explicit. That is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others."
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"All is mystery, but he is a slave who will not struggle to penetrate the dark veil."
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"When a man fell into his anecdotage it was a sign for him to retire from the world."
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"Never take anything for granted."
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"That fatal drollery called a representative government."
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"I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best."
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"Real politics are the possession and distribution of power."
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