"He chuckled into my hair. My body decided this would be a fine moment to remember that his body was wrapped around mine and his body was muscular, hard, and hot, and my butt was pressed against his groin. Cuddled up by a dragon. No, thank you. Let me off this train."If you keep wiggling, things might get uncomfortable, he said into my ear, his voice like a caress. "I'm doing my best, but thinking about baseball only takes you so far."

Humor, Romance, Observation, Fantasy

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"He chuckled into my hair. My body decided this would be a fine moment to remember that his body was wrapped around mine and his body was muscular, hard, and hot, and my butt was pressed against his groin. Cuddled up by a dragon. No, thank you. Let me off this train."If you keep wiggling, things might get uncomfortable, he said into my ear, his voice like a caress. "I'm doing my best, but thinking about baseball only takes you so far."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Appearance, Opinion, Judgment

"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."

Brandon Sanderson, American Author

Humor, Logic, Reason, Games

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Personality, Identity, Education

"I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Funny, Houses, Road

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

Veronica Roth, American Author

Humor, Sun, Birds, Morning

"O, that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Humor, Truth, Life, Identity

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Drama, Social, Behavior

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

Explore more quotes by Ilona Andrews

"She had only two modes of operation: complete control or complete insanity."

Psychology

"Nothing kills a party like an oversize metal hedgehog."

Irony

"Sex is about physical attraction, yes, but it's also about trust. I don't trust you. You're completely self-absorbed and egoistic. You offer nothing I want."

Relationship

"Anger - a better alternative to caffeine."

Anger

"I was so happy to be out of there. "Barabas, if you weren't battingfor the other team, I'd marry you.He grinned. "If I weren't batting for the other team, I would accept yourproposal. You had me at 'No comment.' If all my clients were this smart, mylife would be much easier. Much, much easier."

Happiness

"So far I had the god of evil and the god of terror on my side. My good-guy image was taking a serious beating. Maybe I should recruit some unicorns or kittens with rainbow powers to even us out."

Humor

"There comes a point where you have to stop trying to repair yourself and accept the fact that you're broken."

Mental Health

"Azdaha were no joke. ... Not much is known about this dragon [the aforementioned Gandarw], except that he apparently had yellow heels. I wonder why that was such an important detail. I mean if I were describing Godzilla, the color of his heels wouldn't be the first thing I would mention."

Imagination

"I suggest you give up now. According to my research, in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gets the girl."

Fantasy

"Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature."

Behavior