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"I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance - a sharp, vindictive glance."
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"Nothing is poetical if plain daylight is not poetical; and no monster should amaze us if the normal man does not amaze."

"A man ought to read just as inclination leads him, for what he reads as a task will do him little good."

"Whoever has provoked men to rage against him has always gained a party in his favor, too."

"Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat."

"Do we elect a man because of what he stands for, because of where he stands on the issues, because how he makes the nation feel?"
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"Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost."

"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."

"But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?"

"The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature."

"The animals that depend on instinct have an inherent knowledge of the laws of economics and of how to apply them; Man, with his powers of reason, has reduced economics to the level of a farce which is at once funnier and more tragic than Tobacco Road."
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