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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
Author Name
Personal Development
"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak."
Home
"I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh."
People
"You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh."
Attention
"That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it."
Mother
"My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor."
Humor
"I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such."
People
"I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny."
Funny
"If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny."
Funny
"I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself."
Play
"I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies."
Love
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