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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."
"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."
"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."
"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."
"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."
Explore more quotes by Dane Cook
"I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up."
"When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top."
"You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh."
"I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such."
"I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh."
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