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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Beauty and the Beast seemed like it all was really brown. The whole thing was just so brown and orange and yellow, like Burger King or something. I don't think I would have liked Beauty and the Beast at any age."
Age
"Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it."
Funny
"Then there was a kid in the neighborhood about three blocks away, his name was Bobby Beavis."
Name
"You know, at that age you want to show everyone else how wild you are. It's a combination of being bored, looking for a cheap thrill and being really stupid - a dangerous combination."
Age
"I almost didn't name Butt-Head 'Butt-Head.' I came real close to calling him something else."
Name
"They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever."
Humor
"They're free because they don't know any, better. So they can just run around and do whatever, and do whatever, and most of the time they don't get caught."
Time
"Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you."
Dance
"You ought to try being cruel to some people."
People
"Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?"
Character
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